This summer I moved back to my little tight-knit Mennonite hometown. I had been away at school in a different province and got to see a very different outlook on life. In college my friends and I were pretty open with each other and the community really helped me to grow, in my faith, and in and of myself. When something bad happened we helped each other get through it. We talked about things. Then I came back here. Where the people have this code of silence. Whenever something bad happens, it isn't taken care of, it is just pushed under the rug and people pretend it never happened.
For example, where I work, one of the employees was hit by the supervisor, it wasn't hard, and it was sort of as a joke. But he hit her. She was shocked and really didn't know what to do, but when she asked a mentor what to do their advice left her feeling even more confused. They said to not do anything, to stop being so friendly and flirting and then he would leave her alone. So her answer was to keep quiet. Because she shouldn't make waves; it would cause too much trouble for too many people. So this girl kept quiet and for quite sometime after that, any time he would come near her she would flinch or get scared.
This is only one of many examples I could tell you about. I have family members who have been abused, physically or sexually, and while they have told me, I've been sworn to secrecy. I'm tired of this. I am tired of the silence. There is no healing in it. Things need to be talked about so people can move on.
If you are under this code of silence, break it. If something bad has happened to you, if someone has hurt you - you need to tell someone. You need to find healing from the pain, and you cannot do that on your own. You are not alone, the Bible tells us there is not a single thing that you have gone through that someone else hasn't. Come out in the open about things that are hurting you - it will make life so much better in the end. I won't lie, for a time it may make things worse, the memories will become fresh once again and you may experience the hurt once again for sometime. But it will get better. I promise!
I have had to recently apply this to my own life. For years I have carried the pain and sorrow of sexual abuse by myself, but I have found that there is healing in sharing it. These things that crippled me before are slowly beginning to become the things that will bring others healing. Take my advice, don't stay silent. It will only continue to hurt you.